NEWS
OPTIMUS PRIME BATTLES CANCER
Pre-production shut down today on Michael Bay’s “Transformers 3,” after engineers at Peterbilt confirmed that one of the film’s primary actors has second stage cancer … read more
“2012” REWRITE DAMAGES MAYAN TEMPLE
The Guatemalan Government has issued a formal request to the United States for the extradition of two Hollywood screenwriters they accuse of rewriting an ancient Mayan stone relief at the Temple of Masks in Waxaktun …read more
SILVER SURFER WANTED FOR MURDER
The Silver Surfer has killed at least a dozen reporters during an impromptu press conference at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, where the superhero had been admitted after suffering “nervous fatigue.”…read more
JOHN WAYNE GACY EXPELLED FROM AMERICAN UNION OF CLOWNS
Sexual sadist and serial killer John Wayne Gacy, who has been burning in hell since 1994, received yet another blow yesterday when his membership in the “American Union of Clowns” was summarily revoked. …read more
SCIENTESTS DISCOVER HUGE BURNING ORB IN SKY
Astronomers at the Urundi Peak Observatory in Western Australia have discovered that the Earth is orbiting an enormous, yellow star. …read more
