MUG OF THE MONTH
Ralph Waite watches with deranged glee as his partner’s girlfriend dangles over a 4,000-foot abyss.
After almost a decade as the good-natured John Walton, Sr., Ralph can’t hide how good it feels to watch someone die.
On his right, Michael Rooker agonizes over the fact that he will soon be single.
RALPH… WHY YOU LOOK LIKE THAT?
Sylvester Stallone promises Michelle Joyner – “You’re not gonna die.”
In less than a minute, she’ll discover he’s a lying sack of shit.
Waite and Rooker on the other end of the steel cable that’s holding Joyner and Stallone.
Up until now, the worst fall Waite has witnessed was Grandpa Walton’s
ass-over-teakettle trip into the creek.
Joyner screams as she spots Waite’s face and realizes that if Stallone doesn’t drop her, there’s a good chance Waite will hit the cable release just to see what happens.
In desperation, Joyner adopts a pinched, hamster-like expression that makes her appear vulnerable and worth saving.
It makes us all want to give her a good cuddle, but has no impact on the laws of gravity.
Joyner’s death will haunt Stallone for the next 113 minutes.
Research for this piece revealed that, in Mountain Rescue circles, dropping an attractive woman into a gorge is severely frowned upon.
Joyner finally perfects a move that eluded her through years of dance and ballet classes.
Seconds later, she hits solid rock at 120 miles-per-hour.
Something To Smile About – March’s Mug Of The Month