MUG OF THE MONTH
Mario Todisco realizes all his relationships have failed because he expresses love by
mercilessly beating the shit out of the people he cares for.
MARIO… WHY YOU LOOK LIKE THAT?
Crime boss Jon Polito despairs as Gabriel Byrne breaks the news that
even shitty home heating won’t be invented for another twenty years.
Byrne reacts as mob enforcer J.E. Freeman enters the room.
In Italian culture, the arrival of a fourth party traditionally means that someone is about to die.
Mario Todisco sits In a far corner of the room, silent, self-conscious and happy to be alive.
Coal-powered tanning salons would be outlawed by 1934.
A Harvard graduate with a worthless Anthropology degree, Freeman was delighted to discover
he could make a good living beating immigrant store-owners and drowning union officials.
Freeman pitches an idea for a show that will star Byrne, a nice couch and
“a bunch of teary-eyed motherfuckers with problems.”
Though a merciless killer, Freeman loses focus the moment
he’s hit with a question that involves fractions.
Polito tries to get a head count for pizza, but gives up as the number of
living people in the room begins to fluctuate.
Prior to the discovery of “the force” in 1977, all strangulations had to be carried out by hand.
Although a terrific improvisational dancer, Gabriel Byrne tends to freeze up
when he’s held by the neck.
Freeman takes a break to scratch a lottery ticket.
Early orthodontic techniques relied on surprise.
This gentleman didn’t even know he had a dental appointment.
Freeman tries to tweet a status update with one hand.
Byrne is winded, but otherwise unhurt.
Irish children are taught how to drink and fall safely at an early age.
At any one time, at least 70% of the Irish population is on the ground.
Jon Polito winds up to brain Freeman with a coal shovel.
Severe blunt force trauma to the back of the skull generally leaves a victim dead or
working a management position at Walmart.
Todisco attempts a 911 call. With telephones in few homes the screaming method
remained popular until the late 1930’s.
A giant KISS fan, Polito momentarily mistakes Todisco for Gene Simmons.
Polito and Byrne turn at a sudden noise from behind.
In the background Todisco can be seen attempting to redial.
Freeman stares wide-eyed at the pattern of blood spatters on the floor,
too disorientated to realize he’s just invented Abstract Expressionism.
An enraged Polito shoots Freeman in the back of the head.
Later, the body will be dumped outside a daycare and the murder blamed on some kids.
During Prohibition, this look was all the rage.
Worth Shouting About – August’s Mug Of The Month