Age – 3 maybe 4. Incept date unknown.
Location – New York City.
Relationship Status – Single. Recent Widow.
Looking For – Lonely man to manipulate.
Body Type – Athletic. Similar to Slinky in design.
Sports – Ladies gymnastics, extreme cagefighting and toying with men.
Smoke or Drink – I drink heavily and become destructive. Not a smoker. Will not date a smoker either.
Tattoos – None, but my use of makeup scares the shit out of most guys.
My Best Feature is – With very little work I can pass for Cyndi Lauper.
What I Do – Unemployed sex worker. I hope the fact that I’m unemployed is not a turn-off.
What I Make – I love to knit. I’m always making sweaters for people.
Faith – Memory implants tell me I was raised Mormon, but I voted against Prop 8 because I need to feel human.
Education – With a 4 year lifespan, I decided not to pursue a college degree.
Politics – I see the earth dying and I feel nothing. I guess, Republican.
Interests – Genetic engineering, cellular dissolution, morphology & almost any tween show.
What Was The Last Book You Read – ‘Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret.’ As a young woman, I found the book more informative than the Mormon memory implants.
What Was The Last Film You Saw – I was dragged to ‘Mars Needs Moms.’ It’s much worse than the trailer.
How Do I Feel About Kids – I don’t know. Is it legal to own one?
How Do I Feel About Pets – I’ve never had any, but I’ve been kept as one on occasion.
How Would Friends Describe You – Pretty, eager to please, homicidal.
Describe Your Place – It looks exactly like your place, but with my clothes everywhere.
Why Should I Meet You – You’ll never forget the experience.
If You Could Be Anywhere, Where Would You Be Right Now – Burning Man. Just the name sounds incredibly appealing.
What Was The Worst Lie You Ever Told – “I won’t hurt you.” Later, I killed this person.
Sexual Turn-Ons – Being paid up front.
Sexual Turn-Offs – Any kind of roleplaying where I have to pretend to be a half woman/half fish hybrid.
Where Is The Strangest Place You’ve Had Sex – The outer hull of a shuttle. My partner was drunk. I got off, but he froze to death in the extreme cold of space.
• Arrived wearing a spandex outfit that made her look like a contestant on “The Running Man.”
• Seemed too eager to get to know me. Most women are more cautious or simply walk away.
• Agreed to take things slow, then asked to “take me home and bang the shit out of me” after I’d finished my Latte.
• Talked endlessly about her job. As she used to be a hooker this was a bit disconcerting.
• Walked on her hands as we left the coffee shop.